Jamie (James) Joseph - 14th July 2005
We would like this site to be place where fellow travelers can leave stories and memories about a fallen traveler / friend - James Joseph. When traveling, it can be most difficult to express your feelings as you may not be near other people whom you can talk too. We hope this site will allow people to greave, to laugh at stories about James (as he was a very funny guy) and to remember James, no matter where you are in the world.
I personally only met James a few times, in Vang Vien and in Don Det. Those of you that knew James knew a tall, dark, funny and very full of life Canadian. For those of you that do not know what happened to James i would like to put it in my own words.
I went out the day of the 14th to see some waterfalls a little drive away from the island of Don Det (where we were all staying). When we arrived back we heard the news that a "Westerner" had been killed at the rapids on the neighboring island. We very quickly found out that is was James that had met this tragic end. From the people who were there when James died we were told that he attempted to cross the rapids on a rope but on his way back lost his grip and fell into the water where the rapids were too much for anyone to take.
An hour or so later Evan came past and told us that he and Graham were going to head out to were James was and stay with him as there were not able to move him that night. The six of us around the dinner table very quickly decided to join the two of them out at the rapids to give James, Graham and Evan and ourselves the support that was needed. We collected some possessions (something to sit on, some water, a rain coat) and took the 1.5 hour walk in the dark, out to the rapids.
On arrival we found that the local people had setup a generator and two lights, one looking over James (Though out this posting i would not like to use the phrase "James's body", i will just refer to him as James) and the other for the people who were to spend the night. The locals had placed James in some blankets and covered him with a plastic sheet to ensure that the rain did not get on him. They had also made a makeshift stretcher and placed it about one foot above the ground.
To my surprise, there were about 15 Laos people there (who stayed there the entire night), playing cards, laughing and drinking. For us i think it was a little strange to see this given the situation however we found out later that it is a Laos tradition when someone passes to continue on with life, around the body of the person, so that their spirit can pass easily into the next world as his environment (of friends and good times) remains.
After we had put our belongings down we all walked over to where James was (about 10 meters away) and paid our respects. We then lit 6 candles, two at his head, one on either side and two at his feet. Throughout the night there was always one person awake (many thanks to Pascal for being there most of the night) to keep the candles burning till the morning light broke. Although there was nothing actually said, I think we all found it important to have these candles burning which for me was like a sign that his friends were all around him.
We all tried to get some sleep that night but most of us just lay there with out eyes closed and listened to the Laos people having their card game. Later in the night we got some inscense from the locals, lit them and placed them around James, those too were also kept burning for the entire night and into the next day. It is tradition for the Laos people to place inscence at the head of the body as a sign of respect so for us, it was important to keep this going.
I was awake when dawn broke and for me there was a very moving moment. As i could see the light rising in the sky I noticed that there was a lot of low cloud. Then as i looked up there was a small hole in the low cloud directly above us that made way for a view of some clouds high in the sky. Within a few minutes the suns first rays hit the cloud high in the sky and formed a beautiful golden ray of light. At that same moment the very slight winds that had been blowing the smoke from the inscences over James and towards the rapids that had taken his life stopped and the smoke flowed directly up, as if reaching for the suns first light and into the heavens above.
Around 10:00am the police arrived to take some pictures of the scene and to take some pictures of James. This was the hardest moment for us all i believe. The police did not want to take the covers off James for the photos so Evan stood up straight away and took charge. Once the covers were removed and we all saw James's face, it was the real moment of realisation for us all that he was gone. I personally want to thank all the people there (see posting below) for their support during this time. We all hugged and cried but there was an amazing support between us all to get through this most difficult time.
The authorities told us that it would be a few hours before they were able to move James to the main town. We decided to make a small monument for James near where we was lying. We all went out and collected stones for a small pile, some wood for a cross which we carved his name into, some flowers, and a wooden Buddha which we inscribed "James R.I.P 14-07-2005". Once we erected the monument we all took it in turns to light some inscence and place it in and around the moment.
When the last of the westerners had placed the inscence around we stood back in silence. This for me was another very moving moment. Just as we stood there, a butterfly (which were not very prevalent around this area) flew down, just above the head of the Buddha, across the moment, around the group of people, back over the moment and into the sky......During the next few hours many of the locals also came up to the moment and paid respect by placing food and offerings to Buddha.
Around 14:00 the locals came back and informed us that they were to move James now to the boat. They took a long bamboo poll, made some rope out of bamboo strands and attached the stretcher to it. Then about 10 of the Locals (four at a time carrying James) took us on the 20-30 minute walk through bush, rice fields and small paths to the beach where James was to be loaded onto the boat. After a short time he was loaded into the boat where he and Evan (who wanted to travel with James, see the posting below) disappeared off to the waiting ambulance.
I would like to send my deepest sympathies to James's family and friends and hope that his story will be some small support in knowing that James was always surrounded by his friends and the local people of Laos who we now call our friends.
Rest in Peace James.
I personally only met James a few times, in Vang Vien and in Don Det. Those of you that knew James knew a tall, dark, funny and very full of life Canadian. For those of you that do not know what happened to James i would like to put it in my own words.
I went out the day of the 14th to see some waterfalls a little drive away from the island of Don Det (where we were all staying). When we arrived back we heard the news that a "Westerner" had been killed at the rapids on the neighboring island. We very quickly found out that is was James that had met this tragic end. From the people who were there when James died we were told that he attempted to cross the rapids on a rope but on his way back lost his grip and fell into the water where the rapids were too much for anyone to take.
An hour or so later Evan came past and told us that he and Graham were going to head out to were James was and stay with him as there were not able to move him that night. The six of us around the dinner table very quickly decided to join the two of them out at the rapids to give James, Graham and Evan and ourselves the support that was needed. We collected some possessions (something to sit on, some water, a rain coat) and took the 1.5 hour walk in the dark, out to the rapids.
On arrival we found that the local people had setup a generator and two lights, one looking over James (Though out this posting i would not like to use the phrase "James's body", i will just refer to him as James) and the other for the people who were to spend the night. The locals had placed James in some blankets and covered him with a plastic sheet to ensure that the rain did not get on him. They had also made a makeshift stretcher and placed it about one foot above the ground.
To my surprise, there were about 15 Laos people there (who stayed there the entire night), playing cards, laughing and drinking. For us i think it was a little strange to see this given the situation however we found out later that it is a Laos tradition when someone passes to continue on with life, around the body of the person, so that their spirit can pass easily into the next world as his environment (of friends and good times) remains.
After we had put our belongings down we all walked over to where James was (about 10 meters away) and paid our respects. We then lit 6 candles, two at his head, one on either side and two at his feet. Throughout the night there was always one person awake (many thanks to Pascal for being there most of the night) to keep the candles burning till the morning light broke. Although there was nothing actually said, I think we all found it important to have these candles burning which for me was like a sign that his friends were all around him.
We all tried to get some sleep that night but most of us just lay there with out eyes closed and listened to the Laos people having their card game. Later in the night we got some inscense from the locals, lit them and placed them around James, those too were also kept burning for the entire night and into the next day. It is tradition for the Laos people to place inscence at the head of the body as a sign of respect so for us, it was important to keep this going.
I was awake when dawn broke and for me there was a very moving moment. As i could see the light rising in the sky I noticed that there was a lot of low cloud. Then as i looked up there was a small hole in the low cloud directly above us that made way for a view of some clouds high in the sky. Within a few minutes the suns first rays hit the cloud high in the sky and formed a beautiful golden ray of light. At that same moment the very slight winds that had been blowing the smoke from the inscences over James and towards the rapids that had taken his life stopped and the smoke flowed directly up, as if reaching for the suns first light and into the heavens above.
Around 10:00am the police arrived to take some pictures of the scene and to take some pictures of James. This was the hardest moment for us all i believe. The police did not want to take the covers off James for the photos so Evan stood up straight away and took charge. Once the covers were removed and we all saw James's face, it was the real moment of realisation for us all that he was gone. I personally want to thank all the people there (see posting below) for their support during this time. We all hugged and cried but there was an amazing support between us all to get through this most difficult time.
The authorities told us that it would be a few hours before they were able to move James to the main town. We decided to make a small monument for James near where we was lying. We all went out and collected stones for a small pile, some wood for a cross which we carved his name into, some flowers, and a wooden Buddha which we inscribed "James R.I.P 14-07-2005". Once we erected the monument we all took it in turns to light some inscence and place it in and around the moment.
When the last of the westerners had placed the inscence around we stood back in silence. This for me was another very moving moment. Just as we stood there, a butterfly (which were not very prevalent around this area) flew down, just above the head of the Buddha, across the moment, around the group of people, back over the moment and into the sky......During the next few hours many of the locals also came up to the moment and paid respect by placing food and offerings to Buddha.
Around 14:00 the locals came back and informed us that they were to move James now to the boat. They took a long bamboo poll, made some rope out of bamboo strands and attached the stretcher to it. Then about 10 of the Locals (four at a time carrying James) took us on the 20-30 minute walk through bush, rice fields and small paths to the beach where James was to be loaded onto the boat. After a short time he was loaded into the boat where he and Evan (who wanted to travel with James, see the posting below) disappeared off to the waiting ambulance.
I would like to send my deepest sympathies to James's family and friends and hope that his story will be some small support in knowing that James was always surrounded by his friends and the local people of Laos who we now call our friends.
Rest in Peace James.
12 Comments:
Dear James,
I can never wear my white headband again without thinking of you. And
i shall never forget that night that we saw the fallingstars.
R.I.P.
Sietske
I met James a few times in Vang Vieng and on Don Det. I was impressed by his energy and enthusiasm and I will remember him as a very funny guy who always had a smile on his face.
The night before he went to the waterfall we walked to our guest houses after some drinks. We were just talking a bit and laughing and then James told me and my friend Sietske to turn off our
flashlights. He told us to look up to the sky to see the beautiful
stars. He said he liked to do that sometimes to see if he could see a
falling star.
James, whenever I see a falling star I will think of you.
Rest in Peace.
Marleen
I did not have the pleasure of meeting James, but from what I have heard it seems that he will be truly missed. I would like to send my deepest sympathies to his family, and my respect to Evan, Adrain, and everyone else who pulled together in such a difficult time.
Rest In Peace James xx
Hey James,
As solo travellers its kind of expected that we meet up more than once along our journey, I am just glad we shared some time in Vang Vieng. You were so excited to be experiencing so many new things and shared a lot of those with us. Your excitement was contagious and you really made me laugh.
We did have a bit of an awkward moment,I think it was the second time we met I suddenly noticed the purple mark on the side of your face and thought you must have been in a fight. In a deeply concerned voice I asked you what happened only to be told that that was your birthmark.....I was embarrassed and you were a bit put out but we both laughed and it was okay ;->
You being a paramedic and me being a nurse we had quite a lot to talk about. You told me that you had just come from the thai/burma border where you had been doing humanitarian work with medicin sans frontiers. You said you loved the feeling of knowing you were doing something worthwhile and even though it was going to be difficult you knew one day you would be a doctor.
You told me the situation on the border got dangerous for you and at one stage you really thought you were going to die. When you realised this, you said at that moment that you were not scared to die. I thought you had a lot of strength and courage. That too, was contagious. I hope it is the same for others who have known you.
May your journey continue
Always,
Olivia
Jamie,
What can I say... You were the brother I never had. I can't believe it's been 15 years since I've known you. It's hard to believe you're gone. Since I found out, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. You always lived life on the edge and was daring enough to try anything. Even things I wouldn't do. You always managed to put a smile on my face and make me laugh. I can still remember all the memories from when we were kids. If I could write them here, I would. There's just too many. I will miss you dearly and always remember you...
RIP,
Joe Reuto
Hey You,
I wear my Kylie-shirt and sing "Who's that girl" for you.. You made me laugh and showed there's always something good in life.
I'll keep all my promises I gave you!! Someday I'll visit those Canadian mountains you always talked about.. on the top I'll watch a sunrise with you once again.
Miss u bud. Rest in peace.
With love,
your foxy Finnish girl
Kirsi
We also met James a few times like many others did. He was a real nice and funny guy with always a smile on his face. Actually i took his attention with my "Dragon shirt" i was wearing that night, he said to me: "Wow, where did you got that, with these 2 dragons on it, i like to have one myself", and i told him i just bought it on a market. Later on our trip we met him again in Pakse and he asked us what our next destination was, i also sometimes look at somebody a saw before and than i'm thinking hmmm, would we see you again at our next guesthouse....James did not just look and think, he talked and smiled to everybody he liked and that's why so many fellow travellers and friends liked him i guess...
Our last destination in Laos was Don Det and offcourse we again saw that funny smiling guy playing football with some locals on a veranda. When he saw us he came to us to tell us that when we go to the left we would enter the ghettohuts of Don Det and to the right were the more luxury huts that he'd recommended just for couples, nice huts, nice sunset, best food in town etc. This time he took my attention because he was wearing a mahony shirt with two dragons on it, he really liked it..., and we took what he'd recommended, and yes it was a sunset we would never forget but also a day we never will forget.
Later that day we we're visiting the waterfalls and heard about a "foreigner" that lost his life at the rapids. When we arrived we walked directly to the "beach", where we could swim, i decided not to go in (with what we just heard in mind) and while we walked back we talked to the girl and the 2 boys they were sitting on a piece of wood/tree with their faces towards the rapids, they told us they where with James all the time. Walking back i only saw his feet and something in me told me it had to be that guy we spoke to this morning (at that moment we did not know his name) and i was really shocked, we just talked to him a few hours before. We could only hope it was not the funny friendly guy we spoke before but..... yeah, this evening it was an unforgettable, a really beautiful sunset, probably because James told us it would be.
(I'm writing this because now back home again we were looking at the pictures we made from this sunset and they're beauties, i'm not superstitious but i can almost see a soul in it).
Later this evening a saw Evan getting his bags and he told me he was gonna stay with James just to take care of him and give him a decent way home even if he had to stay with him all the time, and for that my deepest respect. At that moment i decided to support Evan and Graham. I also packed a bag with, yeah what do you need on a night like this... and found out that Adrian, Sietske, Marleen, Shirley and Emmanuel shared the same thoughts and we're heading into the night towards the rapids.
The rest is told by Adrian, thanks man for making this website.
It's easier for people to write down things they've in mind and probably would never say.
James was always surrounded by his friends and respect to the locals there, they we're also a big support during the night.
As you all can see, i'm not used to write in English and i hope you'll forgive me my spellingmistakes....
I would like to send my deepest sympathies to James his family and friends.
I hope you rest in peace James
Pascal
*******Strange thing is,they asked me why i stayed with someone i barely knew, Strange question...
I(we) did this because i'm sure you would've done the same for someone else.
Just threat another person as you want to be threated***************
Pascal
to jamie's family, to his friends, and to the others that were there on don det, i just wanted to add my comments.
evan: as said, you provided inspiration at a dark time, your actions and your words mean more than you can know.
as someone who has lost both a brother and a friend who died while travelling, i can only imagine the difficulty of this ordeal for jamie's family and his friends. jamie's passing, i know, has meant so much to those of us there on don det, even those, who like me, didn't ever meet him. the traveller community is small, and to some extent, we're not so different from one another. to lose one of our own is tragic, though i know it serves to open our eyes... to open our eyes to the beauty of the person who has left, to the dangers that surround us daily as we make our way around the world, and to the inherent goodness of our fellow travellers.
to those still travelling, i wish you the safest of onward travels. and to jamie's family, my thoughts are with you.
jon
Hello,
My name is Jerry. I am Jamie's brother. (Most of you seem to know him as James)
I've known of, and visited this website since it began, although I would repeatedly read what people wrote, I never made an entry myself. Even now, my eyes flood with tears when I read new stories about him. The lump in my throat makes it hard to swallow, and the letters become blurred.
I don’t know why, but I felt like it was time I introduced myself to his friends across the world.
I am his younger and only brother. Besides myself is our sister. I’m 2 and a half years younger than him, and my sister is a year and a half younger than me.
When it comes to our immediate family, Jamie was the one I was closest too, we shared opinions about most things. And even on the things we disagreed upon, I (and
often only I) could understand his point of view.
Before Jamie had chosen the path of medicine, he was lost. From his actions I could see that he was depressed and confused. He had no idea what he was supposed to do with his life and it frustrated him.
When he went into medicine, he worked harder than I thought he had in him. He had discovered in himself, his purpose. Even before he expressed this to me, I knew it
was true. I was so proud- I am so proud of him for going away to help people. Not once did I think it would be the last I saw of him.
We e-mailed each other as often as he could while he was away. I loved to hear his stories, and about his new experiences. I felt we were getting closer, despite the distance between us. I was eager to spend time with him in activities that we had never done together upon his arrival, and often thought about it.
One of the things I’ve always wanted to do with Jamie was go sailing. Just in a small, two man boat. This is something that he had never experienced that I loved to do. I know that if I took him, just once, he would be hooked, and fall in love with sailing the way I have. I never took him sailing. I did however, not too long ago, have a dream. In it, we were sailing. He LOVED it, we had so much fun, even the details of capsizing the boat and watching him fall into the cold water while I stayed dry and up righted the boat. Laughing while I pulled him out of the water. (Knowing full well that within a week he would be able to dry roll a boat, something that took me years to learn).
When I woke up I felt so good. I was glad that I had the dream, it was like he visited me, and we did something together that I needed to do. Jamie has visited me many times in my dreams. Unfortunately this seems to be happening less lately, and I don’t want it to stop.
Sometimes I feel his presence in my day to day life. I feel him inside me. I tend not to share this with whoever Im around, I dont think they would understand.
Instead I just take a minute to enjoy and appreciate it. I miss him so much.
Knowing that he was happy there is the only thing that brings me real comfort. I love hearing stories from you about when you crossed paths.
My brother instantly made friends with a stranger, that stranger easily identified his genuine compassion for others.
Jamie loved meeting new people. He had an ability to reserve judgement, instead always found the good in you.
I think everyone on that crosses this website can agree that you can’t Know Jamie without him impacting your life. When I close my eyes and remember Jamie, I see his huge smile, and hear his Loud, Hysterical Laugh. It brings back memories.
There is a lot more I can say about my relationship with him. And I have many, many stories that I can share, but it’s still difficult for me to talk about. I broke down and cried more than once just writing this.
I thank all of you so much for your words, thoughts and prayers towards his family. It helps me when I read it. Adrian, thank you for creating this website. Evan, words cannot express my appreciation.
Although I do not have the medical skills or knowledge he has, I plan to travel the world some day soon. Maybe I will be fortunate to meet some of you. It’s going to be hard, but I am going to make my way to those rapids that took him some day.
With love,
Jerry
ps. my email is jerryjoseph @ gmail.com for any of you that wish to say something to me. I apologize in advance if it takes me a long time to write back.
4 years on and not forgotten! R.I.P!
Adrian.
6 years....R.I.P
Adrian.
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